mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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