You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
