Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
