Dual....:-)
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
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