You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
