Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
