it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
You have to summon your inner elephant
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Randomize
