My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
