like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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