sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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