i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
