and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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