I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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