1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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