i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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