You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
