I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Randomize
