38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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