No stitches, just platelets and will power
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
