I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
