You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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