My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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