i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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