i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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