I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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