Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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