i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
