can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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