Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
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