Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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