Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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