Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
