you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Randomize
