What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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