i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
How external is "for external use only"?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Randomize
