VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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