A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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