is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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