Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
