When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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