You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
