so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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