when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
How does one acquire holy water?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
