just come out here and I will go home with you...
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Randomize
