Walk of Shame. In a state park.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
