fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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