aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
