I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
