her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Randomize
