who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
