She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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